I am watching Bridget Jones Diary. I love this movie.

Temptation is surrounding me. I want to eat sweets and fried food and drink wine and/or beer. I also want to lose weight and look smashing in a wedding dress. Haha I sound English. But the truth is...I really really want to be skinny. When I am at home by myself and TJ is working, thoughts swirl around in my head and while I want to do away with the bad and hold on to the good, there isn't much good to hold on to. I have a lot of good in my life but for some reason, I get depressed when I am by myself and I am so negative about everything!

I haven't worked out in the past week because the last time I worked out, I pushed myself really hard without really warming up and I ended up going 30 minutes on the elliptical and 50 minutes on the treadmill. And on the treadmill, I would run 15-20 minutes without stopping on 5.6 mph. Now my left foot hurts and there is still shooting pains in my right leg a week later. I have been told to get better running shoes, which I am definitely going to invest in.

I am one of those people that has to get her endorphins kicking in and get an adrenaline rush....otherwise I get moody and sad. That is probably why I am feeling this negativity now, because I haven't really been able to work out and my mood has been deeply affected by this.

I almost deleted my blogger account because I am not as up to date as some of my friends are....Ashley has all these cool things on hers like pictures on flicker and a fitness log.....I just don't get on this enough to do all that. I am sure no one really cares about my stupid moods either. I guess I am writing in this to vent a little bit and if my friends DO want to know what's going on and we haven't talked in a while, they can see what is up with me lately.

I am pretty sure...like 95% sure that me and TJ are going to get married at Casa De Loco winery in Camdenton, MO. It is really pretty and they are very accomodating of your big day. We are still hoping for May, and I am trying to reserve it in May as we speak. May seems way too close, in terms of me being at the weight I want to be at. I know it's only August and that May is several months from now....but I feel like I will never lose a pound!

But in more positive terms, I haven't eaten one sweet or drank any alcohol for two days...and as little as that sounds, I am really trying here. Maybe if I stay away from those two, I will stop craving them so much. I am definitely going to get back on track with working out once I get better running shoes, and in the meantime I am trying to eat less and eat better since I can't really work out. I am also tryin to stay away from fried foods as well. And to drink a lot more water.

I am going to finish watching this movie. Bugger off. haha just kidding!

Bye for now! =)